This is about my new friend from another country, you can call her Xhe (actually not her real name). We spent 1 week in Papua for a project. Several days went nomally, until we sat at a cafe in thrid day of our project. That night is the best night we ever had in Papua. That's conversation is still in my mind.
Xhe said to me that she was impressed with my personality. How could it be? Because, Xhe said, I am a calm person and I have an emphatetic soul. Guess what? I was laughing to her joke. "No.. No! I am serious!" she said.
Am I a calm person? No! Seriously. Then I told her about how rebelious I am, how I have many questions about life, how I complain for many things. So, how can I be claimed as a calm person?
She looked at me deeply. "Nati, it's okay that you have many questions. There's nothing wrong with all of it. Sometimes, people become a wise person because they let the questions exist. It makes them compromise with their life. I found you as an honest person. You asked me about my reason why I choose to be an agnostic. You asked me because you really wanted know, not to judge me. And you told me about your spiritual journey. I feel it comes from your sincere soul. Rebellion happens because you are honest with yourself. There is nothing wrong with it. All you need is keep being who you are because you are on the right track as long as you have faith in it. The sincere soul can bring you to the right track. That's why I don't need religion. Haha."
We laughed.
The way she appreciates me makes me feel blessed, and ask to my self; why don't you thank yourself?
When she asked me, why do I need religion to knowing God? I try to find the best answer I have. I don't really think that God and religion is separated. Because religion comes from Him. For example, I know Him through Al Quran. So I push myself to learn Al Quran more intensive, and I find many of God's guidances are in the Quran which are summarized into a religion. So the religion isn't made by human, but used by them. One of her reasons being agnostic is because people only use religion for their will. Yes, I can't ignore about them, but for myself religion guides me to become a better person.
"No. I think you become a better person because you want to. It comes from your soul. You decided to be it. Not because of your religion!" said Xhe firmly.
"Why do you not have the same thought when you looking at a man who behaves badly? You thought that people only use religion for their personal bad ambition. But when you look at man with a good behavior, you said that comes from his soul, not because he uses his religion."
She laughed, and pointed at me, "Yeah. You make me rethink. That humans need something to believe. Either to God or religion. O, I love our talk tonight, anyway!"
She raised her glass, asked me to toast. Cheers.
Am I a calm person? No! Seriously. Then I told her about how rebelious I am, how I have many questions about life, how I complain for many things. So, how can I be claimed as a calm person?
She looked at me deeply. "Nati, it's okay that you have many questions. There's nothing wrong with all of it. Sometimes, people become a wise person because they let the questions exist. It makes them compromise with their life. I found you as an honest person. You asked me about my reason why I choose to be an agnostic. You asked me because you really wanted know, not to judge me. And you told me about your spiritual journey. I feel it comes from your sincere soul. Rebellion happens because you are honest with yourself. There is nothing wrong with it. All you need is keep being who you are because you are on the right track as long as you have faith in it. The sincere soul can bring you to the right track. That's why I don't need religion. Haha."
We laughed.
The way she appreciates me makes me feel blessed, and ask to my self; why don't you thank yourself?
When she asked me, why do I need religion to knowing God? I try to find the best answer I have. I don't really think that God and religion is separated. Because religion comes from Him. For example, I know Him through Al Quran. So I push myself to learn Al Quran more intensive, and I find many of God's guidances are in the Quran which are summarized into a religion. So the religion isn't made by human, but used by them. One of her reasons being agnostic is because people only use religion for their will. Yes, I can't ignore about them, but for myself religion guides me to become a better person.
"No. I think you become a better person because you want to. It comes from your soul. You decided to be it. Not because of your religion!" said Xhe firmly.
"Why do you not have the same thought when you looking at a man who behaves badly? You thought that people only use religion for their personal bad ambition. But when you look at man with a good behavior, you said that comes from his soul, not because he uses his religion."
She laughed, and pointed at me, "Yeah. You make me rethink. That humans need something to believe. Either to God or religion. O, I love our talk tonight, anyway!"
She raised her glass, asked me to toast. Cheers.
Then we got back to Homestay with lots of happiness. We are happy to know each other, not to judge, but to feel blessed to be human.
I agree with her thought, that humans need something to believe in.
In another day, I share this story to my friend, Nisaul or Saul. She said,
I agree with her thought, that humans need something to believe in.
In another day, I share this story to my friend, Nisaul or Saul. She said,
"Many people say that an agnostic means doubting or not believing or not having faith in anything. For me, everyone believes in something, everyone has faith in something. They just believe in a different thing than we do. Afterall, we all believers."
Agree! Because "believe in 'something'" is a human needs.
Agree! Because "believe in 'something'" is a human needs.
When human lost his faith, they lost his power and hope. We all need a source of Power, and there is one thing more important than having a faith: It's who we have faith in.
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Natisa
Papua, April 2017
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